What Does Christian Character Look Like?
And what kind of character and values should we be looking for in others?
As part of my last series of posts on pastoral leadership, I wrote about the biblical qualifications for elders or pastors. These qualifications are drawn from 1 Timothy 3:1-7, Titus 1:5-9 and 1 Peter 5:1-3. Many of us are very familiar with these passages, and these requirements for church pastors. It’s fascinating these verses only give us one required ability: elders or pastors must be able to teach (1 Timothy 3:2). All of the rest of these qualifications relate to the character of the pastor.
Pastors aren’t required to be perfect, but must be faithful, wise, balanced people of genuinely sound character. They’re to be the kind of leaders who aren’t arrogant or quick-tempered, those who aren’t ready to fight or argue at the drop of a hat, people who don’t stubbornly insist on their own way all the time. Instead, they’re gentle, peacemakers, those who seek truth and love justice, who are welcoming and respectful of others, willing to listen to the views of other people. They’re strong leaders who desire to serve and help others, who aren’t seeking power to lord it over people, and who aren’t just looking for what will benefit them personally.
We can see how these character qualities are very much in harmony with the fruit of the Spirit Paul describes in Galatians 5:22-23. This makes sense, because the list of qualifications for elders or pastors are, for the most part, simply describing leaders who demonstrate real spiritual maturity. The tragic thing is many churches put into pastoral authority people who don’t fit these character qualities at all. Whether it’s because of their charismatic stage presence that can draw large crowds, their humor or mesmerizing speaking ability, or because their bluster and domineering nature are mistaken for strength and leadership, putting the wrong kind of people into “pastoral ministry” has far too often been devastating to churches. (To hear about one well-known example—that’s sadly all too common in other churches as well—go here.) It’s fair to ask why so many churches, followers of Christ, have sought and eagerly followed pastoral leaders who are so unlike Jesus.
Pastors often remind us these character qualities aren’t just the standard for pastors, this is what all Christians should be like. These verses are really just describing a mature Christian. We all should be growing and maturing more and more into the character we see in these passages. If we view someone who lives like this as some kind of extraordinary “saint,” then we actually have a weak, shriveled, superficial understanding of what it means to live as a Christian. And this isn’t only the kind of people we should be, this is the kind of character we should respect and admire in others, and what we should seek out from others.
We don’t expect non-Christians to act like Christians, of course. (We touched on this last week.) But this doesn’t mean we forget all about biblical character values as soon as we walk out of the church. If these are descriptions of the kind of character we should be demonstrating in our own lives, and the kind of character we should admire and seek in others, this should be our natural mindset, our instinctive values, inside or outside the church. It should be second nature for us to value and seek out this kind of character in others.
Since non-Christians can be mature emotionally and behaviorally (sometimes even more mature than some of God’s people, Romans 2:14-15), it would be biblically consistent for us to respect and admire the Christians and non-Christians who are most mature, who are closest to demonstrating the character qualities we’re taught in Scripture. I’m not at all saying we should shun immature, struggling people (Christian or non-Christian)! We need to reach out to everyone with the love and truth of Christ. I’m saying—if we are consistently living as followers of Christ—we shouldn’t be respecting and admiring and following people who obviously lack emotional and behavioral maturity, the kind of character qualities we see described in the passages above. When interacting with non-Christians we should appreciate, respect and seek out (when necessary) those who are most in harmony with biblical character values.
What kind of people do we seek for our closest friends, Christian or non-Christian? Do we seek out the most emotionally mature people with whom to spend our time? Or do we enjoy people who draw us out of our Christianity a bit, who encourage us to do things in life that might seem appealing or exciting or even a little irresponsible, but that are destructive to us spiritually (and destructive in other ways)?
If you’re single, and you occasionally talk with your friends (Christian and non-Christian) about the kind of person you’d like to date, how often is mature character part of your conversation? Notice I said part of the conversation. There’s nothing wrong with thinking someone’s cute! But how big a part of your sharing is about emotionally mature character? If the focus of your conversation with your non-Christian friends about the people to whom you’re attracted rarely includes mature character—what is this telling your non-Christian friends about what you (a Christian) value most? What is this telling you about what you value most?
We’re all part of a larger culture, and it’s normal to admire and follow certain people in our culture. For any of us, there are going to be celebrities (filmmakers, actors, musicians, writers, entrepreneurs, etc.) to whom we’re more drawn than others. So—be honest—to what kind of celebrities are you drawn? What kind of people in our culture do you tend to admire and follow (and maybe even emulate, or at least think about emulating)? Are the celebrities you find most appealing people of emotionally mature character? Or do find yourself more strongly drawn to other qualities? What qualities? What does this tell you about what you most value? What does it tell your non-Christian friends about what you most value? Does the character of the celebrities whom you admire and follow enhance your witness to your non-Christian friends, or does it weaken your witness? How biblical and spiritually mature are your natural, instinctive values and attractions?
What about in the workplace? If you’re in a position of influence, what kind of people do you value and seek for managers and executives or partners? If someone were to judge your character based on the people you admired, respected, and sought out in the business world, how would they view your character? Do you seek people who are scrupulously honest, even when it might not be in the benefit of your company or department (or you)? Do you promote people who are kind and considerate, who treat people well, and are able to work harmoniously with others? Or are you looking for people who can get things done whatever it takes, people who’ll always make the omelet even if they have to break a few eggs to do it? Are you most concerned with the bottom line economically, with accomplishing certain tasks, or is character even more important to you? What does this tell others—and you—about what you value most?
What about politics? What kind of people do you respect, admire and follow politically? Is biblical character a quality you consider? Not that we should expect everyone to be a faithful Christian. But what kind of qualities do you (a Christian) respect, admire and follow in your political leaders? Do you seek out leaders who demonstrate emotional and behavioral maturity? Do you most respect and admire and follow people who tell the truth, and who seek truth? People who are respected and have a good reputation, even with their political opponents (and people who are capable of respecting their opponents)? People of genuinely good character, who tend to be gracious and respectful, seeking to hear from even people with whom they disagree? People who “love what is good,” rather than what’s corrupt? Leaders who seek to unite people rather than divide, who generally treat others with decency and respect, seeking—as much as possible—to work with those who disagree with them to accomplish the greater good? Or are you just respecting, admiring or following someone who will get the things done you want done—whatever it takes?
What do the people whom you respect, admire and follow politically tell your non-Christian friends about what you most value? What does it tell you about what you most value? And if you have to follow and support people whom you know are of poor character because we have to change things now . . . . . . what does that tell you about your faith in God to fulfill his own plan? Is God so desperately in need of your chosen candidate (whoever that is)? Does God need this person to accomplish his will?
And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?
Matthew 16:26
Note: I feel the need to make clear there’s nothing remotely partisan in the above post. There’s nothing here I wouldn’t have written twenty years ago, in exactly the same way. In writing this, I’m drawing directly from the Scriptures, applying biblical character values to different areas of our lives. Twenty years ago, every evangelical Christian reading this post would have strongly agreed with what I’ve written (even if we might have been a bit convicted personally here and there). So if you now find this post disturbing or even offensive . . . you need to ask yourself why. The Scriptures haven’t changed. These biblical character values haven’t changed. For a pastor to teach scriptural character values is not a change. So, if this now bothers you or offends you—what’s changed?
Related posts:
What Do Elders (or Pastors) Do?
Discussing Politics in Church?
We All Hate How Polarized We’ve Become . . . So What Are We Doing About It?
Thanks, Lori!
Very thought provoking. Thank you